Week In Surfing: July 20, 2013
We're off to do like a thousand different things to get ready for the next push in our remodel so I'm just going to go ahead and leave you with these:
Nickels and a Juice Obsession - As always, Chris writes so well about her addictions and why recovery isn't a finish line, but a beginning. I can't believe that I actually know this powerful woman, and every time she posts something on her blog I feel like I want to carry it around and make everyone in the whole world read it.
When the Questions are Impossible - I get asked all the time if Iliana is my first, usually because Jonas is home playing Minecraft while we take our visits to the park. I duck the question by mentioning that we have a thirteen year old but I admit I do feel a pang. The pang is bigger and louder at some times more than others, but it's always, always there. I hate that I worry about other people's reactions more than my feelings, but there it is. Grief is so...complicated.
I Don’t Want To Be A Burden - I've heard that phrase over and over again throughout my life. I heard my dad whisper it after he lost his voice and his body to neurofibromatosis. I heard aunts and uncles bemoan their age and illnesses. And most recently, I watched my mother drip tears all over herself as she dealt with the guilt of needing care. The writer of this article tells her mother that she is not a burden, but I have a different take on my experience with my Mom. I hope to write about it soon, but the point is this: the illness was a burden. The person suffering it was bearing the brunt of it, and we were not merely cattle required to carry the load. And I would help my mother carry the burden of her final days again and again if I had to, though I would hate every moment of watching her decline. Watching her die.
My party is going to suck - Okay this just made me laugh. Ian and I look fondly upon the ghosts of parties past and remember all the ways that our gatherings were disasters. But even though that one time the music didn't work or the bathroom door didn't lock or none of the food was ready at remotely the same time, our friends laughed with us and reminded us that we were there to be together, not be Martha Stewart. Damn, I love friends.
Hell, Yeah. Or, How Sandman Slim Saved My Relationship - I'm not the target audience for the book series this story is about, but I know the feeling of getting so into something together. Ian and I have been so busy lately we haven't had a chance to fall into any rabbit holes. I hope that changes, and soon. It's a nice place to be with your best friend.
A snobby mom judged me and called me “Ghetto” for having a kiddie pool - I would have gone off on this mom about a million different things. The presumption of it! The use of the word "ghetto"! The ridiculous judgementalism! Reading posts like this makes me want to send a million thank you cards to all my neighbors.
People-Pleasing 101 - Ian and I try to be there for all of the people in our lives. There's lots to do: furniture to be moved and rides to be given and shoulders to offer to hold oceans of tears. We always want to say yes, even if it complicates our own plans. I want to say yes because I want to be a good friend, but also because I am terrified of people being mad at me or rejecting me if I don't do what they want me to do. This post was well timed for me to read, since we've had to say no to several things lately and I've been feeling terrible about it. It's good to pay attention to our motives for wanting to help people so that we can count ourselves in our own equations. That...seems like a lesson I should have picked up before my 38th year but hey. We do what we can.
And here's something from me! Last night I finally got around to rewriting my super lame about page. Writing a bio for myself is like torture. But I buckled down and did it. Here is it in all its abouty glory. That only took me three years. Yeesh.
And that's it for me. Hope you're having a good weekend!